I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
