im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
