I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
