I need help removing her.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize