i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
