There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
