i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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