im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
