why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize