Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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