Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
