His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Boobs are out for the taking
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
