On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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