I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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