Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
