i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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