Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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