omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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