i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
