my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
