Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
