no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
