Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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