ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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