I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize