Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize