yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
