STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
