hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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