R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
