you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
