I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
