omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
