if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
