so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
