Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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