Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's shark week go big or go home
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
