I think I am morally bankrupt
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
