Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Too much gin, very little bucket
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
