I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
