dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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