So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
