After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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