FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
should my penis look like a turkey
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize