Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think I have vodka in my lungs
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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