All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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