life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
