My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
