something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
