just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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