But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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