im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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