Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
