just tell him i said nine months
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
