I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize