he puts the penis in happiness.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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