I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
