I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
