i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize