you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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