Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
