I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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