just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
its liver damage thursday
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
