Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
