Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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