Say something about gay babies.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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