And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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