marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
where does the pee come out of this thing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I AM VODKA MAN
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
