chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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