Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
