it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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