This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
