Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just cut my nipple shaving
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
