she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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