Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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