Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
