You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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