So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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